My house is like an island
Out in the middle of nowhere
Nobody to turn for help
This is my life
My house is an empty stomach
Nothing inside but the people who hurt me
Nobody to make the pain go away
This is my life
My house is not a house
Refrigerator is always empty
No food to satisfy my hunger
This is my life
My house doesn’t know the meaning of love
No home sweet home
Nobody cares
This is my life
My house is the place before hell
Hear screams of my mother
Beatin’ down and hurt
This is my life
My House is best friends with the Police
Always disturbing the neighbors
Nothing but a loud racket
This is my life
This Home is not a home
It is a full-time drinking zone
Alcoholics here and there; everywhere
This is my life
This Broken Home
I do not live in
No scenes of abuse and violence no more
This is not my life
Anymore
“Rachelle,” she said angrily, “What are you doing up?” Of course, what’s a teen to do when it’s eleven o’clock at night trying to go to bed when there is a ruckus downstairs? “I can’t go to bed,” I said with a whine. “You guys are too loud.” As I slowly walk up the stairs with my head facing down, I headed for my room wishing the noise could go away. “Shut up!” my mother yelled, standing at the bottom of the stairs, slurring her words screaming at my step-dad. “Stupid son of a bitch,” she screamed while her face turns red as she raises her voice.
Hearing the screaming and fighting of my mother’s anger toward my dad was just one thing I hated about living at home. But there was something else I hated even more than anything else: the drinking. I remember when my parents would leave for a few days at a time to go somewhere else but later on I found out they just wanted to drink.
Being left at home wasn’t a huge problem. I shopped for food and I cleaned the house hoping that when they came back they will be proud of me. I was always alone. It scared me. The biggest fear I have is to be alone. Having a big house, yet empty and trashed wasn’t so comforting. Since my parents weren’t around, I realized that I had no boundaries. Nothing would keep me from doing what I wanted to do. I always had my friends over when I was alone. “Hey do you want to sleep over?” I asked one of my friends. “I am not sure but I can ask mom.” replied Cheryl. Unfortunately, it was a school night so she wasn’t able to. I spent about a half and hour trying to find one of my friends to sleep over but no one wasn’t able to. Sadly, I had to sleep alone that night. Then, I woke up in the middle of the night scared. It was so dark that the only light I saw was the streetlight coming from outside the window. The shadows in the living room frightened me. They looked like they were about to get me. As scared as I was, all I did was lay there, hoping that I could fall asleep quickly without thinking about what’s going to happen if someone tries to break inside.
The memories of my past permanently scarred me forever. My childhood wasn’t the happiest time of my life. My mother had me when she was only seventeen years old. She wasn’t ready to have a child. I don’t even think she planned on having me either. She wasn’t really there for me when I was a baby. So I lived with my grandmother most of the time. But there were times when she tried to get me. My mother scared me. There was a time when she came into grandmother’s house yelling, looking for me like she wanted to just beat the shit out of me. Immediately, my grandma Mary told me to hide under the blankets and not say anything.
“Where’s Rachelle,” she said yelling at her mother, who is my grandma, as she searches inside the house.
“Tara, can you see,” my grandmother said, “The way you are treating her is wrong” she asked my mother.
“I don’t care,” my mother yelled. She told my grandmother she didn’t give a rat’s ass what she was doing. She just told her to stay out of her business. I was crying loudly so obviously she found me. My mother yanked the blankets off, pulled me by my arm trying to take me out of my grandma’s house. But, luckily my Uppa Fred came in and kicked her out of the house.
When I was at home, it was a nightmare. Being left alone with her meant tortI remember her picking me up by my hair and throwing me around like rag doll. For what reason? Why? What did I do? All of these I do not know. For hours I spent crying hoping that it will end. Sooner or later she had to take a cigarette break. Knowing that I would call the police she told me not to use the phone. As soon as she left the house, I quickly went to call my grandmother’s house. Too late. She had already caught me. She grabbed the phone and hid it. When was this going to end? I asked myself.
Finally, my Aunty Buzzy came inside the house, with shock, to check on my mom and found me crying hysterically. Right when I saw her I ran toward her to safety. Then she immediately took me out of the house until the next day. “It’s okay Rachelle,” my Aunty Buzzy said in sympathy, “She doesn’t know what she’s doing because she’s drunk.” Yet, the painful experiences I have faced helped made me become a strong-hearted person.
My father’s snow-machine accident caused my mother’s alcohol problems to worsen. I felt like my life was a living hell. Everyday my mother was either drinking or hung over. After five years of taking care of my dad she gave up. My dad wasn’t how he used to be. He stole money from my mom and always ran away. It wasn’t until she found a boyfriend named Shawn. How did she meet him? In jail. Why was she in jail? Because she threw me down the stairs of our house. This happened during the winter. Then, I walked to my grandma’s house with no coat or any type of winter clothing and told my grandma what happened. Then she decided to press charges. Once my mother and Shawn got out of jail they started seeing each other. The first time I met him I automatically did not like him. It was only after she met him that I didn’t matter anymore. The drinking was still an issue.
After time passed, they had already started a family. We moved to his parents’ house and it was only a matter of time until we became a problem. His family hated my mother because of her rude attitude and her alcohol problem. So, we all moved out and moved into a small old house that smelt like gas because of the heating monitor. Shortly after, their drinking became an everyday habit. The police came three days in a row because of their disturbance towards the neighbors. Finally, we were taken away. Then everything changed. My brother Cory, a year old, was the only person I lived for. I knew that I was never to see him again. My second brother Shawn, who was only a few months old at the time, didn’t know what was going on. The last born, Kobe was not born yet so he didn’t have a big effect on me at the time. Because of this, I was never ever to see my family again. It is only once a year I am able to see them. Once is not enough.
Now that I am out of my family’s house, I do not have to deal with the fighting and abuse ever again. Ever since I was taken away, I have been angry at my mother for choosing to make all the wrong decisions. I choose not to become anything like her. She is a role-model of what I wish not to become. Today, I am a drug free student of Mount Edgecumbe High School, receiving the best education to become a person of success and happiness wishing to live life, and accomplish my dream to become a law school student. Although, I do not get to live my life with the people I love. I still believe that the day my brothers and I were taken away was the turning point of our lives. At least they do not have to go through the pain and abuse that I was given from my alcoholic mother. What I have experienced has helped me realize that no one can hurt me more than I have already been hurt. I am proud to know that I have broken the family cycle. Today, I stand as a proud survivor of an alcohol based home. Being drug-free and sober is the most honorable pride I have as a child that lived through domestic violence.
My Junior year here at Mount Edgecumbe! "Yes, I do 
my MTV," LATER PEEPS
(Keep this in mind, this is JUST a quiz I took that predicts where I will be in 20 years, not actually true)
CONGRATULATIONS!
You are: 50 % Soccer Mom
25 % Business Babe
16 % Hippie Chick 8 %
Social Butterfly
Even in school, you were the "mom" of the group. You organized hang outs, chauffeured all the road trips, and always made sure your friends had extra sweaters in case it got cold. Twenty years later, you're putting those skills to work as a real mom. You adore your kids, and nothing makes you happier than carpooling them around, arranging play dates with their friends, and volunteering for their school's PTA. You work part-time as a teacher or secretary, and you love having your nights free to hang with your adorable hubby (your high school sweetheart!). As long as you keep some activities to yourself, like yoga, spending time with your family will always bring you joy. Where Will You Be in 20 Years?
CONGRATULATIONS!
You are:
50 % Soccer Mom
25 % Business Babe
16 %
8 % Socia Butterfly
Even in school, you were the "mom" of the group. You organized hang outs, chauffeured all the>Hippie Chick
CONGRATULATIONS!
You are:
40 % Casual Chica
30 % Professional Princess
30 % First-time Flop
Your First Date Outfit: Sequin Print Skirt
Your First Day Theme Song: "First" by Lindsay Lohan
I took the quiz from Alloy.com . . . . . .. . ..
What's Your Inner Sparkle?
CONGRATULATIONS!
You are:
28 % Sparklin' Attitude
28 % Sparklin' Individuality
28 % Sparklin' Sense of Humor
14 % Sparklin' Style
CD to buy: Kylie Minogue, Body Language.
TV show not to miss: I love New York. Love the drama
New Beauty Ritual: Smell flowery and stay dry with Secret Moonlit Rose deodorant.
Sparklin' Celeb BFF: Beyonce.
What's Your Guy Type?
CONGRATULATIONS!
Your guy type is:
26 % into Comedians
26 % into Jocks
26 % into Artists
20 % into Brainiacs
What's life without laughter? That should be your mantra. So naturally, the quality you appreciate most in a guy is a killer sense of humor. You're not into those quiet dudes -- you're looking for an outgoing guy who can be the class clown, the life of the party, and your own personal Conan O'Brien. You don't mind being outta the limelight, as long as you're constantly kept in stitches. We think that's cool -- for some girls the stand-up routine could get stale, but you seem to like a guy who's always on. Look for him at the school dance -- he'll be the one leading the Conga line.
Best Guy Friend Match: The Artist.
This guy is always busy writing songs, painting, and making junkyard art. While you think it's cool that he found a use for that deflated truck tire, you're glad he's not gonna give it to you for Valentine's Day.
Watch Out For: The Brainiac.
Talk about having NO sense of humor! And to top it off, he's a know-it-all. Too bad he doesn't know anything about having a good time. This guy wouldn't recognize funny if it sat on his lap and farted.
Movies You Should Rent Together:
This is Spinal Tap, There's Something About Mary.
Star Signs You Should Date: Pisces, Capricorn.
Star Signs You Should Avoid: Libra, Virgo.
Your Celeb Crush: Ashton Kutcher, Seann William Scott.
Essential CD: The All-American Rejects, The All-American Rejects.
Snack: Funyons Onion Flavored Rings.
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You are walking to your boyfriend/girlfriend's house. There are two roads to get there. One is a straight path which takes you there quickly, but is very plain and boring. The other is curvy and full of wonderful sights on the way, but takes quite a while to reach your loved one's house.
WHICH PATH DO YOU CHOOSE?
Short or long?
-
On the way, you see two rose bushes. One is full of white roses. One is full of red roses. You decide to pick 20 roses for your boyfriend/girlfriend.
WHAT COLOR COMBINATION DO YOU CHOOSE? (Any combination including all one color is fine.)
-
You finally get to your boyfriend/girlfriend's house. You ring the bell and the maid answers. You can ask the maid to please get your loved one, or you may go get them yourself.
WHICH ACTION DO YOU TAKE?
Ask the maid or do it yourself?
-
Now, you go up to your girlfriend/boyfriends room. No one is there. You can leave the roses by the windowsill, or on the bed.
WHERE DO YOU PUT THE ROSES?
Bed or window?
-
Later, its time for bed. You and your loved one go to sleep, in separate rooms. You wake up in the morning, and go to your boyfriend/girlfriend's room to check up on him/her. You enter the room:
IS HE/SHE AWAKE OR SLEEPING?
-
It's time to go home now, and you start to head back. You can take either road home now: The plain, boring one thats gets you home fast; or the curvy, sight-filled road that you can just casually take your time with.
WHICH ROAD DO YOU CHOOSE?
Short or long?
Analysis
-
Which road do you choose to take to your love's house?
The roads represent your attitude towards falling in love. If you chose the short one, you fall in love quickly and easily.
If you chose the long one, you take your time and do not fall in love easily.
-
What combination of roses do you choose to give your love?
The number of red roses represent how much you expect to give in a relationship. The number of white roses represent how much you expect in a relationship. Therefore, if a person chose all red with one white, he/she gives 90% in the relationship but expects to receive only 10% back.
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Do you ask the maid to get your love, or do you do it yourself?
This question shows your attitude in handling relationship problems. If you asked the maid to get your loved one, then you may beat around the bush, maybe asking a third party to intervene. Avoidance of problems runs high.
If you went and got your loved one yourself, then you are pretty direct. If there is a problem, you confront it and deal with it. You want to work it out right away.
-
Where do you put the roses? On the windowsill or on the bed?
The placement of the roses indictate how often you'd like to see your boyfriend/girlfriend. Placing the roses on the bed means you need lots of reassurance in the relationship, and you'd want to see your loved one every day, if possible.
Placing the roses by the window show that you don't expect or need to see your loved one that often; seeing them just once in a while is OK.
-
Do you find your love asleep or awake?
Finding your boyfriend/ girlfriend asleep: You accept your loved one the way they are.
Finding them awake: You expect him/her to change for you.
-
Which road do you choose to go home?
The short and long roads now represent how long you stay in love. If you chose the short one, you fall out of love easily.
If you chose the long one, you tend to stay in love for a long time.
Quizzes by Personalityquiz.com
Hey Mindsay Users! How's Everybody? Well, I am here to meet new people and what not. Well, Okay. whatever.
~BYE!
Sitka, ALASKA! Go BRaves
My Best Friend Diane. Theth Awethom. 
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